The drugs don't make me high, they make me neutral. ~Dr. Gregory House.
Well end of another day. Technically only more class left in my week! I must say I'm very happy. I"ll go to class tomorrow morning and then go home and go back to bed. Ah bed.. yes. Hopefully my headache will be gone by then. Its somewhat gone right now. I'm just waiting for Tara to email me her essay on Radiation Therapy. I, the lovely friend that I am, said I"d proof read it for her. No problem. In exchange she has to hang out with me over Christmas break. Why by the way technically begins in only one week! And then its exam time! Joy. Actually I"m not too too worried. Well actually am I am. These will be the first university exams I've written, I sense they'll probably be different than the ones I wrote in high school. Everything's different then in high school, well most thing, and its a good thing. Wasn't so fond of that period of my life.
So my cat seems to think that as soon as my roomate leaves she is allowed on the table. Cause as soon as Marie leaves the apartment Willow is immediately either on the counter or on the table. Its very strange. So I"ve spent most of my evening removing her from the table and counter as well as washing dishes. I hate washing dishes and I hate it even more cause I always wait until the last possible moment (when there are no clean plates left - and we have alot) before I wash them. Luckily, I don't have to wash till next Sunday or Monday. Cause I washed tonight and that means tomorrow will be Marie's day and I won't be here on Friday and Saturday. So that's good. But knowing me I'll wait until Wednesday before I do any.
Which reminds me, I need to wash my jacket tomorrow. So I can have it clean to go away this weekend. I'm so random. I realize I've had many posts but nothing all that intellectual or philisophical.. (or however you spell that) on here... Well maybe tomorrow I"ll think of something terribly profound to share. But until then I'm off. Tootles.
Unfortunately I lied. I am up at 2am. I can't sleep. But then again, really this is me. I tend to not sleep. And you know its actually starting to get annoying. Not sleeping is just one of the things that's bugging me. Things I shouldn't be getting used to. But I am. Like constantly fearing for my safety. I hate it. I shouldn't have to do that right? I didn't think so. And this constant rejection. From so many people, even my cat is starting to reject me. That can't be a good sign but I"m just taking it now, I figure I might as well get used to it.
Wow I"m depressing. Sorry. I"m gonna go make my cat curl up with me. Good night everyone.
Underwear
By Lawrence Ferlinghetti
I didn’t get much sleep last night thinking about underwear
Have you ever stopped to consider underwear in the abstract
When you really dig into it some shocking problems are raised
Underwear is something we all have to deal with
Everyone wears some kind of underwear
Even Indians wear underwear
Even Cubanswear underwear
The Pope wears underwear I hope
The Governor of Louisiana wears underwear
I saw him on TV He must have had tight underwear
He squirmed a lot
Underwear can really get you in a bind
You have seen the underwear ads for men and women
so alike but so different
Women’s underwear holds things up
Men’s underwear holds things down
Underwear is one thing men and women do have in common
Underwear is all we have between us
You have seen the three-color pictures
with crotches encircled to show the areas of extra strength
with three-way stretch promising full freedom of action
Don’t be deceived
It’s all based on the two-party system
which doesn’t allow much freedom of choice
the way things are set up America in its Underwear struggles
thru the night Underwear controls everything
in the end Take foundation garments for instance
They are really fascist forms of underground government
making people believe something
but the truth telling you what you can of can’t do
Did you ever try to get around a girdle
Perhaps Non-Violent Action is the only answer
Did Gandhi wear a girdle?
Did Lady Macbeth wear a girdle?
Was that why Macbeth murdered sleep?
And the spot she was always rubbing
-Was it really her underwear?
Modern anglosaxon ladiesmust have huge guilt complexesalways washing and washing and washingOut damned spot
Underwear with spots very suspicious
Underwear with bulges very shocking
Underwear on clothesline a great flag of freedom
Someone has escaped his Underwear
May be naked somewhereHelp!
But don’t worryEverybody’s still hung up in it
There won’t be no real revolution
And poetry still the underwear of the soul
And underwear still coveringa multitude of faults in the geological sense
-strange sedimentary stones, inscrutable cracks!
If I were you I’d keep aside an oversize pair of winter underwear
Do not go naked into that good night
And in the meantime keep calm and warm and dry
No use stirring ourselves up prematurely ‘over Nothing’
Move forward with dignity hand in vest
Don’t get emotional
And death shall have no dominion
There’s plenty of time my darling
Are we not still young and easy?
Don’t shout.
Well its Monday again. How I detest Mondays. My head hurts, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm stressed. And its only Monday.
Nothing too exciting to report for the weekend. Mary came over on Friday afternoon. I slept the whole time she was there, or at least I layed in bed. I was too tired and weak to get out of bed. I told her to get food out of the fridge, so I was still a good hostess. Was gonna go see Rent on Friday night Jon and Marie but the hockey game Jon was at went into overtime so we missed the movie, so he and Jeff came over to our place and we watched Second Hand Lions. Pretty good movie. Really enjoyed it. By the time we got rid of Jon it was like 2 so I just went to bed. I slept until 11 on Saturday when I woke up with a collosal fever. Well it wasn't big as much as it was high. But that's too difficult to describe so I'll just take now to be stop talking. Then I went back to bed and slept until 4. Got up when Marie came home from work and we watched Madagascar. Great movie. Hilarious penguins and a neurotic, paranoid, hypocondriac giraffe. Highly recommend it.
Then to satisfy Marie's desire for sugar I made lemon tarts. Bad idea. They took a bit too much energy to make. Could hardly stand up as I neared finishing them. But they turned out quite well. So then I was left at home alone and Marie went to youth group. I slept some more. I don't remember what else happened that night. Perhaps it was something good... but somehow I doubt it.
Sunday meant going to Church, that was nice. Gotta love advent, means christmas music! Then Marie and I went uptown for breakfast at Cora's and then we went window shopping. I found my mother's christmas gift. Proud to say I know what I'm getting everyone but Dave, Tara and Mary, yet I have no gifts yet. But I will soon. Loan money will be here soon.
I slept again when I got home on Sunday - funny how my weekend so far has only consisted of food, sleeping and movies/shopping... but then again what else should or could it consist of... Anyways.. yeah. So I slept then ate and then did some homework - right.. that's what was missing... work. Then I watched Gray's Anatomy. I do enjoy that show. It was a light hearted episode this week, everyone just slept with everyone. Those are always the fun ones.
And to finish off Sunday, Marie discovered how to download music and she decided to enrich my musical knowledge... most of them are still dowloading so I am yet to be enriched but it should be interesting. I think she had a bit too much sugar yesterday cause at 4 oclock she was still at my computer - I was on the couch at this point. But she got an essay written and such. So that's good even if I'll have to listen to her complain she's tired tonight.
So that brings us to today. Skipped my first two classes today. Went to the post office to get my student loan stuff done. Bought a few christmas decorations. Found my dream desk and bookshelf and got payed! Always so enthralling my life. And in case you haven' t noticed that was major sarcasm. But meh, that's what weekends are for. Maybe next weekend will be different but probably not.
Anyways, psych class. Must go. Tootles.
Well... I am very tired. I ran through King's Square earlier to catch the bus home and it took alot out of me. Wow.. I'm so out of shape. However it was okay. Cause I was leaving a really really good play. It was called "Waiting for Godot". It was crazy. Completely random and completely absurb. It was bout these two guys who are waiting for Godot (one of them was my drama teacher in high school and the other a professor I have next semester). Anyways, it was great. It was funny, random, yet completely profound at times. I love plays like that. I love life like that. I love it when things are completely ridiculous yet have this profound and heartfelt meaning that you just have to look a little for. Marie and I sat right in the front row, and it was great. It was a really good play and I'm really glad I went, I almost didn't go but I'm glad I did. I would have regretted it had I not. Mind you I'm really tired now. I probably should work on my book review and report but I think I"ll do that tomorrow night. Its due Friday but its only a 1000 words. That's not too much. I should be able to do that tomorrow. Oh darn.. I've got to read for English as well.. well I'm glad I remembered that now. We have to write an analysis on it on Friday in class. So I HAVE to read it. But now that I"m looking in my book for I can't seem to find it... I hope I didn't miss a class where she passed it out on paper or something... darn... Oh wait I found it... oh darn.. I thought it was shorter than that.. oh well. 75 pages... I can read that in no time right? Right. I thought so. I could probably start working now coudln't I... but I don't want to.. I need to relax first and then I'll work later. Its only 12 I've got lots of time.
My cat has been really crazy lately. I think she's training for a marathon, she keeps running up and down the hallway. Hehe. I went to cross the hall to the kitchen early and nearly got run over by her as she galloped by. Note to self: look both ways before crossing the hall.
I made stew for supper tonight. It took a lot of energy out of me but I did it and it was good. So that made it worth it. I had been hoping it would be enough for a couple meals but no such luck with Marie around. Hehe. No. That's okay. She's gonna make spaghetti squash using the leftover broth tomorrow. Which could be really good. If I'm conscious. I'm sure I will be. Well not completely sure. But I"ll pass out after I wash the dishes Marie! I promise. If I should ever live alone I'll be very happy for the fact that I can keep my place as clean or as messy as I like. And there won't be as many dishes to wash either.
Well I feel horrible so I should probably get to work before I pass out. Good night everyone.
So I'm sitting here and I just realized its been almost two months and I'm still doing this whole blog thing! I"m very proud of myself. I think this is something that I will attempt to continue. I enjoy it so maybe you do too. OK. Here is where I scream. My cat spilt a glass of water on my keyboard this afternoon and now my "y" key will not work. However, as you have probably noticed I am still using the "y" its because this wonderful computer has a program called "on-screen keyboard". And that is all I have the patience to say cause it takes too long to constantly click that little "y". Anyways, Hurray for me and my 13 posts!!! YaY!!!
So its way too late to still be up. But that's for a normal person. I'm not normal. I don't sleep. Oh sleep. I miss thee. However, I think I'll stay up a bit longer to eat some cheese and drink water and make Dave write his essay. Its fun reading over this conversation I sound like I actually know what I"m talking about.
I'm very glad to have my computer back. I've missed it. Alot. Yes. Mostly my music. I got an email about the habitat for humanity build and fundraisers. I'm doomed. I hope next semester's sex.. right.. no that was supposed to be six. Anyways. Hope the 6 (we'll put it in number form) courses go well, especially with all the weekends I'll have to be away. But I don't mind. I need something to keep me on my toes... which reminds me.. I should practice my dance before bed...
I seem to have misplaced my coffee... yes.. my coffee yes.. at 1 in the morning. I know. Maybe I finished it already... but... no... well maybe I did. It was good... okay.. I must have drank it if I can say it was good. I'm just gonna shut up... shut up in typing form.... so that would be changing the subject.
So I went to the dean's dinner with Marie this afternoon. It was really cool. I got to get dressed up, even did my hair and makeup, there was really good food and lots of smart people and a live jazz band! I never knew I liked Jazz. I never knew what Jazz was! But I really like it now. It was alot of fun. Marie had a good time, she just loved that band. Yeah. It was really nice to get out and have fun. I needed it.
My back hurts and I can' t get my eyes to focus... I have an eye appointment on Tuesday. Gonna have to miss french for it... I have another one tomorrow too for new meds. I'm very happy.
Anyways, Gonna go wash my face and floss and brush. Night all.
My stomach is growling, my head is hurting, my fingers are numb, I want to go home and I can't get there and the heat is NOT on.
My articles are finished and all layed out and I want to go home now. However, I cannot. The bus left 9 minutes ago. I would have taken it had my mother not changed her mind about picking me up. So now I am stuck here for another hour and 20 minutes at which point I will pick up my computer and take it on the bus with me to go home. Providing I have not frozen or starved to death by then. Which at the moment seem like likely possibilities. Well that's my rant for now. I supposed I should go see if my numb little fingers and weak body can help anyone with anything. Providing they want my help, its possible no one will want it. Cause I know I wouldn't want it.
Anyways. Tootles
Into its 19th season, Meldoy's life continues to be an adventure. In last night's episode : "Mice aren't Nice", Meldoy decided that there are no longer any surprises.
Damn I hate things that keep going wrong. I am definetly not gonna keep this apartment another year. I don't think I can handle anything else going wrong. The lastest thing is a cute (yeah! Right!) little white mouse. And where is this cute little white mouse? In my hallway light fixture. I heard him last night while watched House - I love that show - Yes. So when you turn on my light there is this little white mouse head glowing all pink and such. Oh... yes... How I love it.
And then to only make matters worse I was awoken at 2 am only to hear more little micies in my kitchen ceiling. Oh I love my life.
So I called the landlord... he's coming to get rid of the one in the light today and to hopefully fix our taps as they still have yet to be fixed.
Well anyways, I still have no computer. I will definetly have it back tomorrow they say.I sure as hell hope so. I need to do some work. Anyways, off I go. I need to do actual work now.
Enjoy your day all. Hope your season is going better than mine.
Damn its ridiculously hot in here. I knew I hated this computer lab.
So the weekend is over, its a shame really. I had a good weekend. I went to Fredericton to visit Dave for the weekend. Had lots of fun. Watched a ton of movies, its been a while since I did that, twas fun. Can't remember what have of them were.... actually I can remember all but one and its possible that one is just a figment of my imagination. So my recap on the recent movies I"ve watched immediately follows my saying of what follows. (heh heh)
King Arthur - Good film, Enjoyed it. Had a few funny moments and lots of blood and death which is always good for a movie.
Runaway Jury - I also very much enjoyed this one. I really enjoyed Rachel Weisz. I've never seen her in anything before so that was cool. I now own this one. Was gonna give it to someone for Christmas but decided I want it for myself.
Happy Tree Friends - Oh dear God... kill me now. That damn music. (yes... I'm swearing a lot... - Dave's a bad influence. :)
Constantine - I enjoyed this one as well. Yes. I did. Keanu Reeves, I like him. And it had Rachel Weisz in it as well. Yeah. I didn't think I'd like this one but I did very much.
See... if I go by day here is where I"m pretty sure we watched another one... just don't know what....
A Few Good Men - I really enjoyed this one as well. Military and Law put together make me very happy... maybe I should go into the military.. haha... wouldn't that be interesting...
Good Morning Vietnam - My love for Robin Williams only more from this one. Its amazing how a man can pull off something so funny yet so serious. This one caused me to choke on my chocolate milk hehe.. That was a funny part. Anyways.
From Hell - Well.. the first 10 minutes seemed interesting. Bout as far as I could handle. I'm sure its wonderful, maybe someday I can watch it all.
Office Space - hehe. Loved it. All so true.
Then there was the Beatles cartoon... that was definetly interesting... wow...
Then we watched one.. haha.. darn.. I can't remember the name of it but it had men pretending to ride on horses and oral sex as a form of torture. That's all I need to remember at this point. Very funny movie. Really enjoyed that one.
So my the movies I"ve seen in my lifetime have been doubled since Thursday. Well maybe not doubled but definetly close to it.
I really had a good time. I didn't get a darn bit of homework done but it was good. I needed it.
We went to Chapters. Oh I love that store. I had to hold back from buying anything just cause I couldn't... but next time...
Anyways, I'm gonna die of heat stroke if I don't get out of here so off I go. I'll sure I'll have more to say later when I get my computer fixed.
Tootles all.
Its really strange how I write stuff only when I should be doing work. But then again... no that's not strange. That's normal for me. So the university gave me a computer. I was not impressed to find out that it was no better than what I have now. So I'm gonna sell it to my mother and just keep what I have now. Except I really need Word of some sort on it. I really need something. Wordpad is really getting annoying. So I've discovered a great way to hear new music. The Yahoo! Radio Stations. I'm listening to Rock or so it said. I'm enjoying it actually. But then again I enjoy almost any kind of music, I mean except that annoying stuff. And you know what I mean. Oh we all must admit we hate that annoying stuff... I wish I knew what kind it was too... like the "technical" name.
So I'm going to a yoga class next week. And no I'm not doing it just cause the guy complimented me on my name. I'm doing an article on it for the paper so my "assistant" (hehe) and I are gonna take a class and such. It could be fun. As long as I'm not as sore as I am today. Oh my gosh I knew I"d be sore after dance but not this sore. I can hardly walk. Nice hot bath for me tonight.
I think I'm hungry... I think I'd get out of this chair and go to Tim's if I knew I could get down the stairs. But Mary just got here and told me they are closed already so no use in that.
So winter is definetly here. I feel like hell. But Anyways, its probably time for me to do some work.
Tootles.
November is poppy month, the time of the year when by the wearing of a simple emblem - the red poppy, we honour the memory of those who sacrificed their families, their futures, and their lives so that we might live in a free country.
The Flanders poppy as it is now usually called, grew freely in the trenches and craters of the World War I war zone. Artillery shells and shrapnel stirred up the earth and exposed the seeds to the light so that they would germinate.
Today the poppy is worn on Remembrance Day, the 11th of November. At 11 o’clock on that day, everyone is asked to be silent for just one minute. The silence is a chance to remember all those who have died in wars and to be thankful for those people as well as to be glad that we are not at war today.
11th November 1919The First Two Minute Silence in London:
The first stroke of eleven produced a magical and beautiful effect on London on November 11th 1919.
The tram cars glided into stillness and silence, motors ceased to cough and fume, and stopped silent, and the cart horses hunched back upon their loads and stopped also, seeming to do it of their own free will.
Someone took off his hat, and with a uneasy hesitancy the rest of the men bowed their heads and removed theirs also. Here and there an old soldier could be seen slipping unconsciously into the stance of 'attention'. An elderly woman, not far away, wiped tears from her eyes, and the man beside her looked pale and stern. Everyone stood very still ... The hush intensified. It was widespread over the entire city and become so pronounced as to impress upon one with a sense of almost being able to hear the silence. It was a silence which was almost painful ... And the spirit of memory hovered over it all.
So its Monday. Again. Wow it comes around fast. Its Tuesday and then the next thing you know it its Monday again. But its okay. This is only a short week.
So I've been given the opportunity to go to Toronto in January for a week. But I"m quite torn, its probably not a good idea cause I've got classes... its a school week so I'd miss them all. So yeah. That was easy to decide. No trip to Toronto for me this year. However Dave did just inform me that I can go on the Habitat for Humanity Trip to South Carolina. I'm really really excited about that. Like terribly excited.
Ooooo... I got a computer! A good computer. I was a bit ticked off that I found out AFTER I had just downloaded a bunch of music and just gotten a bunch of junk onto my computer but at friend at work mentioned her husband could install some stuff on it for me and switch everything over for me as well. Which is great. So I'm gonna get a cool new computer and my mother will get one as well - my old one.
So I get to go to visit Dave this weekend. I'm excited about that. I like going on trips. I'm not looking forward to the bus ride cause I get car sick and I'm alone as well but I'll live. Anyways, I'm gonna do some assignments. Tootles.
Well tonight sure has been interesting! I feel like I should rename this blog to something about cats. Unfortunately I'm not gonna talk about how great cats are 1:30 in the morning. Instead I"m gonna leave for a second and go find someplace to scream.
Okay. I'm back. Please, find me not very impressed. I've got a cat with fleas and tape worms. Its great. It means that I need to wash every fabricy thing in my house. Buy worm medicine for the cats as well as myself and buy more flea shampoo and flea collars. I have no energy whatsoever to be doing this so its really taking alot out of me. So here I am at 1:30 in the morning. An essay still to write yet I am soaking wet from washing two cats and picking fleas off of them.
So my day tomorrow promises to be very busy and fan-f**cking-tastic.
My cat continues to amaze me (Not the one who was in heat by the way, my kitty - Willow). I'm pretty sure she adopts my mental state. When I'm down she knows it and so is she. When I cry, she cries. It has gotta be the cutest and most touching thing I have ever seen in my entire short life. She knows exactly what I need when I'm upset. Well she knows that will somewhat make me feel better. She just finished sitting in my lap for half an hour while I just talked and cried to her. Its amazing. Amazingly great. She never does that. She's not the most cuddly cat unless you are feeding her or something so for her to do that without putting up a fight really cufuddles me. She even makes it seem like she's listening. I was talking to her and she'd look at me and tilt her head as if to say " Go on... I'm listening." She even meowed at the proper times. I never believed before that animals could be such a gift from God but I have been converted. I am truly blessed to have such an amazing animal.
I must shift my rant now to crazy things called relationships. You know.. its strange how you can take something from someone close to you and make it all about you. Even when its not you still find someway to get upset over it. Though since this is me writing and of course we are talking about me and I hate to be wrong I must defend myself. I realize that this something is about someone else but somehow I feel like I've failed. I feel like I've let this person down in that they had to deal with this and yet I feel like I've failed those who I've told I would look after this person. You know, Finding Nemo's Marlin said it best. "Its a complicated emotion." And that nice little quotation (as I learned in english is the noun form) can describe anything.
Oh and by the way, if you ever want to know how to ruin a night with someone, begin the conversation and first meeting with: "I'm leaving you." It has remarkable effects on the person you are with.
Anyways, I guess its time for me to go do something... something other than rant about nothing too important...
