Profound turned out to be depressing... sorry.

Well I"d promised something profound, how bout confusion? Will we settle for a confused little girl? And add a little scared to that mix as well. It is scary, its scary that the only thing that used to make you happy just doesn't do it anymore. That you feel so horrible that you can't even enjoy the company of the one you love. That smile that used to make everything in the world alright... it doesn't cut it anymore. Its not right when you feel so bad that you don't feel those warm, happy feelings anymore when you should. You don't get excited to see that one person who always had the ability to make you feel better before, now its gone. And then the confusion, is it cause I don't love them anymore? Is it cause we shouldn't be together, that its just not right anymore or is it just cause I just feel so screwed up. I'm trying to lean to the latter, that I just feel so bad that nothing makes me feel good anymore. So will the fact that I'm so screwed up ruin the most important relationship I've ever had... ? I hope not. I can only pray that it won't. Not losing this relationship is my motive for getting better. And on that note, I'm gonna go take my meds.