Some things just aren't meant to be...

I've taken too many things for granted. I've just assumed that good things would stay good. But they don't you know. Some things just don't work, life just doesn't work that way. The things and people you've always assumed will be there for you when you fall... one day, you turn around and they're gone and it's like they never where there, there's just this emptiness that you know used to be filled by something but you don't know what it is or was. And relationships that you always thought would run so smoothly and would never give you any trouble, just stop being right all of a sudden and everything you've held on to, everything you've loved, everything you've held dearly just washes out with the tides. And you stand there on that shore, watching it go and in your heart you know you should be doing something to stop it but you're so numb inside and so tired of hurting that you just can't. All you can do is stand there, tears flowing, thinking about what you've done wrong and how you could have changed things. And it's never anyone else's faults. It's always your own. Even if it was someone else's, you'd still blame yourself. And now you've got this chance to do something... and you stand there. You don't say anything. You don't even scream or beg for forgiveness, you cry. And alot of good crying does. It just makes your eyes and head hurt and you just look horrible in the morning. It doesn't solve anything, doesn't bring anyone back to you. Doesn't make the scarey and sad things stop. It does nothing. And even though you know this, you'll still crawl into your bed, bury your head into your pillow and cry yourself to sleep.