7. I feel I have really good tastes in music.
8. You'd probably be surprised by some of my tastes in music.
9. Alot about me surprises people.
10. I like surprising people.
11. For the amount of school-work I do, I should have failed out first year.
12. My parents are divorced.
13. I looked up to my parents relationship (for some sadistic reason), as a result, I do not believe any of my relationships will ever last.
14. I like kids.
15. So much so, that if I don't get married by the time I'm 30, I'll have one anyways.
16. I'm not nearly as smart as people think I am.
17. I'm not so okay with that.
18. My favorite color is black. Has been since I was in like grade 2. People always mocked me for that. Not sure why.
19. I have a scar in the shape of an L on my knee. I was chasing a dog down a dirt road and tripped over an apple.

50 Things...

So... apparently its possible to write 50 facts about oneself. I don't know if I can do it, but I'm gonna attempt it. I'm not gonna get all 50 at once... but I'll try and do it over the span of a few posts. So watch for em!

1. I like to laugh, even if its not a real I-actually-am-happy laugh.
2. My laugh is rarely the actually-am-happy kind.
3. I wanted to be a police officer as a child.
4. A part of me still does.
5. I like to cook/bake for people.
6. Rarely do I eat the food myself (this might be something to fear you people who eat my cooking).

I like finding stuff

I've been cleaning. Okay, not so much cleaning, as making room for more stuff. Finally unpacked the box of stuff from Marie. Okay. That's also a lie. I unpacked the books (after making room on my bookshelf), the rest of the stuff just got stuffed in a closet until I can organize it.
Anyways, as I was going through a box (I have too many keepsake things... I'm giving alot of it back to Mom until its an appropriate time for me to have it), I was finding stuff and finding stuff is always fun. First in my "found" pile was a paper I wrote in grade 11, on the Englightment. It was like 2500 word paper for my AP history course. That was the paper Dave helped me on. Apparently I knew him in grade 11, and well enough for him to help with me a paper. We got an A+ on it too! I say "we" cause I'm pretty sure he did about as much work on it as I did.
Also found some old report cards. Wow.. I use to do well in school. Its been a long time since I"ve seen that may A's, let alone one actually. But I plan on changing that this term.
I'm very proud of myself, I've done alot of work this weekend. Partly cause I had nothing else to do but partly cause I want to get work done. So I'm pretty much in the right spot with all my readings. Which is nice for a change. I was abou to start my psyc paper but I realized that the article I chose isn't gonna work, which is a bummer cause I really could have gotten that paper done this weekend easily. However I did do some research for my history paper... I don't think the original topic is gonna work as nicely as I'd planed but maybe, we'll see.
I also did some thinking on my sociology paper... I really don't know what to write on... I'm thinking something on Feminist Theory, or... I read something in my history text about Jesus being one of the first feminists. I think that'd be a cool topic. But I've got some time so I'll do some thinking and some research and we'll see.
Watched movies this weekend. And not with Dave, which is odd but kinda good. That way if and when he leaves someday I'll know I can watch movies alone :)
Hard Candy was really good. Odd but really really good, I liked it. Ellen Page is an amazing actor. She's Canadian (a maritimer at that) and she's my age. But really good. The movie was neat, it only had 6 characters and 4 of them only appeared for like 5 minutes each, the rest of the movie was with 2 characters. It was even amusing at times. Anyways, I highly recommend it.
But... I'm gonna get back to my cleaning, though I'm almost done. But whatever, Okay. Later!

Good feelings gone!

Ration of bad feelings to good feelings at present time
1,000,000,000:1

Its the second week of classes and already I've missed half of all my classes. I haven't been feeling well. That's my excuse. And actually its a pretty good excuse. Between the headaches and just the general "blues", I haven't been in the shape to go to class.
The large amount of depressing feelings is prompting me to reconsider taking 6 classes, its actually prompting me to reconsider living but let's not discuss that.
Lying in bed this morning, I was listing off all the things I need to do today and you know... I've lost all desire to do any of it. I need to do some of it.... but most of it wont' get done. I can gurantee you that.
The cats are really hyper today. When they aren't chasing each other around, Jack is standing in the window watching the snow fly off the buildings. Its really cute cause he stretches himself and gets so excited, he's ears are all perked up and his tail's wagging. Adorable really. I don't know what I'd do without them, they keep me going somedays.
So I've got the apartment to myself for the weekend. I plan on cleaning. And doing some major organzing and purging of junk. I don't want to take half this stuff with me when I move. I also need to make space for all the books Marie gave me. No idea where I'm goign to put them though. I've got a couple movies I want to watch too: Little Miss Sunshine and Hard Candy. Also would like to finish Band of Brothers.
And do school work. Yes. I would like to get some work done. Possibly write a paper and start my seminar. Yep. And I need to start making some jewelry for the silent auction for habitat.
Anyways, I'm going to go do laundry so i have clean clothes. Later all.

Trips around the Maritimes

and other exciting events of the last few days.
Skipped classes on Friday to go home and see Marie. I'm going to miss her. Alot. I've shed a good many tears over that in the last few days. She gave me a huge thing of books. I need another bookshelf. I was originally going to take the bus back up to Fredericton on Friday night but Dad offered to take me up. He neglected to tell me it was going to be after he went to Halifax and Moncton and Woodstock. So I got home around 5am Saturday morning.
Dad thinks I should go into something easier in school, like Business or Engineering he said. Its times like these that solidify in my mind that I am nothing like my parents, as least not in the intellectual department. This conversation also involved the ever-fun argument about whether I should be in university in the first place, cause you see, my father is a male chauvinist pig and believes that women belong in the home looking after his needs and those of his offspring. I quickly assured him I was nothing like the women he goes for and therefore will be nothing like my mother. Sure, I plan on children but I don't plan on staying at home all the time, yes, I just might go back to work.
Alex thinks I should live with Dave, cause then Dave could protect me. Apparently I need protection. I told him I could look after myself, he said that girls needed boys to look after them. I was not impressed. I do not like what this child is learning and I'm not sure who to blame it: my mother, my father, his school teachers or just society in general? Or most likely a combination of all of the above.
A couple friends of Pauline's came to visit yesterday. We went to the art gallery and then to the mall. Then returned to get Dave to go for supper. Supper was good, except my teeth are bothering me. Like aching painfully so I wasn't able to enjoy it as much. And they forgot my chicken on my flat'za. Which was fine with me. But Pauline insisted on pointing it out. The waitress offered to get me another but it was fine without the chicken. It really was. I can deal with not eating meat all the time. Though Pauline's assertivess did pay off as I did not have to pay for it and since I only got ice water (which everyone scoffed at when I ordered), I got a free meal! Was nice. Since I really didn't want to be spending alot of money.
We then went and played pool. Which was fun. There were six of us but we only got one table so we took turns. Melissa and I played each other and were mocked a good deal as the game took forever. Then Dave and I played Pauline and Melissa and we sooo won! And then we lost against Denise and Kevin but that's okay cuase they were definetly better than us. I enjoy pool. I'm horrid at it at first but I get a bit better, until I get overconfident and then it just goes downhill from there.
We returned to the apartment to play cranium and have a few drinks, turned out to be more than a few for some people. Silly drunks bother me. I have no problem with sillyness in general but silly drunks annoy me (though I'm probably one myself), I tend to just get a bit lightheaded and very touchyfeely when I drink. And I might giggle a bit more than usual and oh, I do much better at cranium when drinking. Much much better. Anyways, so that was last evening. Fun and amusing, good times had by all, better times had by some.
Ooo, I finally spent my Christmas money from Dad, Its been sitting in my wallet and I couldn't decide what to spend it on, as I'd been forbidden to spend it on school, which is okay, cause I got a bursary and don't need to now! So I decided on slippers and the first season of Bones. I'm very excited about Bones, and the slippers don't fit even though they are the biggest size they had. No, I don't have big feet. Also finally spent my chapters gift card. Decided on Mirror Mirro by Gregory Maguire, which should be enjoyable when I get time to read it... and all the other books on my list.
Saw guy who I went to the formal with. I did share that right? Okay, whatever, anyways. Its been almost two months since I've seen or heard from him. I really wasn't in a mood to deal with him, so I quickly escaped but to no avail as he saw me anyways, and decided to say hi. Of course no mention as to why I haven't heard from him or what I did wrong but oh well.
Anyways, I'm going to go wash dishes and make supper and study and watch some Bones (!!). So later!

Week One of School Done

Someting fun I noticed today. It greatly amuses me when I see something I know someone forgot somewhere and I know exactly what they were thinking when they left it there. Like, the classic example, the coffee cup on top of the locker or the research essay information right beside the library computer. Its amusing, cause I stood there looking at the coffee cup and thinking through the entire thought process of whoever left it there.
More amusing. Pauline was sharing a couple odd quirks of a couple of her profs early. One of them is a prof who doesn't breathe when she speaks. She rambles on and on without taking a breath till it gets to the point where she's getting out of breath and you are just sitting there painfully awaiting her breath, to the point that the whole class takes a big breath with her.
So far everyone else has found this very amusing but I'm completely serious. I finally gotten into my Women's History course and we have a large paper to write and the prof gave us a few topic choices, one of them is why women entered the convent and there was another that dealt with the issue of lesbianism in the 16th and 17th centuries. I'm going to combine the two, with my main point being that lesbianism was a reason for women to enter the convent. For two reasons, first they would have the company of women and second because then they would not have to marry as those were pretty much their only choices. I'm excited about it. I think it should be fun. However, I do need to do some reasearch this weekend and see if its actually plausible and if not then, well, I'll be searching for something else.
My Philosophy of Law Seminar has me scared. I'm asking to do mine last. For two reasons. First, I'll get to see everyone else do their's and then I'll actually know what I'm doing since I have on idea what a seminar is, nor how to do it. And second, by the end of March I'll have all my papers done and actually have time. Speaking of papers, I have about 13 papers, a debate and a seminar this term. Five of those papers are due in the week after spring break, you know, that break where I'm not going to be here. Seriously thinking maybe its not such a good idea. However, I might be able to get them done in February. Or at least that's going to be what I try to do.
Anyhoo, gonna go back to my sociology reading. Its actually interesting so its not that too painful.

Umbrellas? Snow?

I know I must have done this whole several classes in a row thing in high school but how? My gosh, I had three in a row today, and an hour break and then one more and I'm half dead now. The worst part is they weren't really even classes, we went over the syllabus, when we actully start doing work it should be fun. University has me spoiled.

My polisci prof is adorable. Well adorable in a geeky, PHD student kind of way.

I have a dilemna. I told someone something, something that required I trust them ALOT, and now some other people know about that thing. I'm really upset... I don't know what to do, I don't know who to get angry at (me for telling them, or them for telling). Maybe I'm overreacting but right now I can't thing of any other way to react but in being very angry and very upset.

Anyways, I think a need a cool-off and no better way to do that then to go outside in the cold rain. So umm... later.

A day in the life of my cats

These times are only approximate, they may vary from day to day.

4:30am - The day begins with a good run around the apartment and some wrestling. Usually involving some mess that requires Meldoy getting up and cleaning up or saving something. Lately, the book on my bookshelf and my mirror. The hour or so of play also involves some "trick feeding", where I, the instigator, walk out of my room in an effort to make the cats think they are going to get breakfast when really I just want them to stop wrestling on my pillow or making pictures swing on my walls. I walk about 5 feet into the hallway and promptly turn around closing the door behind me.

6:00am - This tactic works for about 5 minutes. At this point, there is nothing else to do but feed the things. So its food time. Which requires my sitting on the floor between the food dishes to ensure they each eat their own food. After the feeding is done I can return to my bed. Last semester, this would have meant I could sleep for a few more hours, this term it'll mean I have about an hour before I have to get up. Its gonna be fun!

6:30am - Time to burn off the food they just ate, with more running and more wrestling, this time with less of it directed at telling me they're hungry. My downstairs neighbors hate me.

7:00am - Naptime.

12:00pm - Time to convince Meldoy that they are hungry again and must be fed. Meldoy does not fall for this. Return to napping.

3:00pm - Random wandering with intervals of mad playing and wrestling and tv watching (Yes, Jack watches TV - sometimes I feel like the horrible babysitter and just put it on something that'll make him leave me alone)

5:30pm - Surely she will feed us now, Alas, they're right. Supper time, involving the same, food seperation tactics as breakfast.

6:00pm - Naptime. Cause eating makes one soooo tired.

9:00pm - Things change right about here, for each cat. Willow will continue to sleep through the evening. Always in the same room as me, but not necessarily too close by. Jack on the other hand will insist on being on me. This ranges from day to day as to wear I am between the hours of 9pm and 1am. If I'm at the computer desk. He will be on my lap, with his head on the laptop keyboard, purring like there's no tomorrow. If I'm on the couch watchin TV, he will be on my shoulder or on my leg or any space inbetween. If I'm in my room studying, the same applies, except there is a book available usually in this room. Not only does he sleep and purr, but he cuddles, he will all over me, kneeding and purring and headbutting me until he is convinced I'm convinced he really likes me and then will finally settle down in the most unsual of positions and decide to stay there and should you move, well don't you dare move because he will do the whole process over again to get settled again.

12:00am - Bedtime feeding. At this point I don't care if they are eating their own food, and I just leave them.

12:30am - Playtime.

2:00am - Bedtime, for all of about 2 to 3 hours and then it starts all over again.

Oh and to the person who found my blog while searching "love with an older man" - I hope you found it as amusing as I did.

Happenings of the past few days

So I'm sick. Miserably sick. And I'm not getting better. Which sucks cause classes start in like 2 days and the first day of classes consists of 4 clases.
Anyhoo, I'm giving my lungs till Sunday to start feeling better and start allowing myself to breathe again and then I'll get to a doctor. Just cause I don't want to deal with a horrid case of bronchitis or pneunomia.
So my schedule has been completed or almost completed. The classes should be interesting. I'm taking Child Psychology, Sociology of Women, Political Issues that Divide Canadians, Survey of English Literature from 1600-1900, Philosophy of Law Seminar: Idea of Criminal Liability, and History of European Women:1450-1800.
I bought my Child Psyc text and my soc text (entitled "Feminist Issues"), they both seem really interesting, my most exciting one however, and of course most expensive one is Philosophy of Law (entitled "Criminal Law Theory" - I feel so grown up!). I wasnt' able to buy it though when I was at the bookstore cause the limit on my bank account wouldn't let me.... tells you how much that text is eh?
Pauline isn't home yet. I figure she wont' arrive tonight, cause she doesnt' like driving in the dark. But its probably a good thing cause the apartment is most likely too cold for her as I have the heat turned off completely and all the windows open - I can only breathe in the cold.
Nothing too much more exciting to share I don't think. Mary and I made homemade chicken noodle soup last night. It was really good. We are good cooks. I'm gonna cook more homecooked meals this semester. Especially where I'm done classes everyday at 2:20.
I need cough medicine. I just need like a 15 minute break from coughing.. that's all I ask, just long enough for my stomach muscles to get a short break and my ribs stop aching.
Anyways, I'm thinking a cup of tea. Sleepytime tea to be exact. I'm enjoying it muchly. I"ll tell ya all about the classes after I go to 'em.

Year in Review

Go to your Calendar or blog and find the first entry for each month of 2005. Post the first line(s) of it in your journal, and that's your "Year In Review".

January - So its 2006. Happy 2006 everyone! So I'm supposed to make resolutions now right? So.... this could be interesting. I don't expect to be able to keep any of these but I might as well make myself think. I"ll let you know in a week if any of them are plausible. (This was followed by a number of resolutions, which I do not believe I kept any of)
February - I finally have proof, proof that I've lost my mind. A little while ago I was on the phone, sitting on the couch in the living room, staring at my bookshelf (that's an important point in this story - it was MY bookshelf) and the thought all of a sudden popped into my head "hmmm... I have that book." You see my friends, I've lost it. When you don't even realize that a book that is on your bookshelf is yours, you're certifiably nuts.
March - Hehehe. Only two more days until I leave for Fredericton so I can leave for South Carolina. I'm really excited. My work is done.. well.. most of it. I'm done classes, and I'm almost all packed. Quite happy really. Anyways, don't have much else to say but I won't be around for a week or so. But I'll tell you all about it when I get back. Have a great spring break!! (The trip went very well, and was well enjoyed by myself and most I believe)
April - Its Monday. The first day of the last week of classes. I couldn't be happy. Okay.. that's a lie. I could be alot happier, but I"m not gonna complain. I couldn't be happier with regards to school being over. I would really like a job though... I dropped off some resumes today. I got a call before I even got home. But I think they're looking for part-time. I suppose I could work two part-time jobs instead of a full time one. Though that could be a bit chaotic when it comes to scheduling. But whatever, as long as I have something by mid-May I'll be fine.
May - Sooo.. its been a few days. I"ve put in another day of work, I have my schedule for May and I am beginning the search for a second job... as the job I have is not gonna give me enough. I mean, it'll give me enough to live off of for the summer but enough to save up anything for next year and I need to do that since I won't have any scholarships this year. I want to save up enough to pay for all my books and all my bills for the first two months. That's possible, but only with a second, possibly third job. I don't really mind though cause I'm really lonely so it'll keep me busy I guess.
June - didn't get the job I wanted but I applied for a bunch more and its a possiblity for me to get another one, but I'm not gonna bother explaining it all until I am sure I have it. Its less hours than what I have now but it would equal out to paying the same...darn it... so conflicted. The other thing is that its 12 hour night shifts... But yeah.... so yesterday I experienced the mass murder of slugs... was terribly interesting.
July - When one is dating someone are they expected to drop all their other friends? Are they to spend time with other friends only if the significant other is present? Can one never have time with another friend unless their better half is with them? I don't like dating expectations, sure I understand the obvious ones like no dating other people, no sleeping with other people, spend quality alone time with me etc but I"m not sure I understand the forget everything else that is important to you one. (This post continued but it was depressing so I won't share it all)
August - Okay.. I give up. I'm being chased out of my apartment by fleas.... so I'm going! I'm going!
September - Okay... just so everyone knows... you don't make an 800 dollar purchase and five minutes later decided it was a "bad idea" and want to return it! In most cases this act of stupidity would be allowable and wouldn't be too difficult, however when the sales clerk does not have the administrative power to refund such a large purchase, you should not get mad at her. It is not her fault. Most people do not buy a 14 carat gold, diamond and emerald ring and then decide they don't want it. And please don't even mention to the lovely sales clerk that she shouldn't be so snappy when it is indeed you who is being snappy and unreasonable and stupid for wanting to return such an impulse purchase! As you've probably noticed, I'm working. I am looking at it this way, working these 13 hours this weekend will buy me a textbook.
October - So.. went to dinnner at Dad's... pretty much took his threatening me for me to go. So I went. No one spoke to me. I sat there alone, getting Alex's meal ready for him and keeping him happy. My grandmother didn't know who I was. My aunts never even said hi. And my father made me say thank you to his girlfriend for having me over.
November - Ahh.. tylenol 3 how I love you. Yes.. I finally went to the hospital. I'm happy! Still in pain but glad they could give me something that helps with the pain a bit more than what I was taking before. I also have the names of a couple chiropractors and masssage therapists with the recommendation to see someone in the next little while if the back isnt' feeling better.
December - I feel like I haven't stopped for the last 3 days. Well... most of the week actually. And I think its starting to take its toll.
With the coming of winter, the sad stuff is starting to set in.. and fast, my back seems to have decided to wage war against the rest of my body, and my sleeping patterns are going downhill, quickly, day by day. Exams are quickly approaching and I've really slacked this semester... as I do most semesters... so they're won't be any complaining coming from me regarding marks this year, as its my fault.

I have posted way too much in the last little while, its ridiculous and I have even more to share, but I'll wait till I get back to Fredericton, which will be tomorrow morning. Early. As mom has to come home and get her packing out tomorrow afternoon. Pray the weather is good.

Goodbye 2006

I am not going to miss you. Though this year has had some good points, its also had a few too many lowpoints for me to feel at all happy about. I've learnt some things though.
- I will miss my family when away for long periods of time. Even though when I get home to them I'll wish to be dead.
- My family will never be the same without my grandfather (this leads me into a small disucssion on how much I've missed him this holiday season, its been awhile since I've allowed myself to be upset over it all but the holidays seem to have dealt quite a blow to that inner strength I was claiming to have. I miss him. Christmas Eve was not the same without his rum and eggnog and lobster rolls. Christmas Dinner was nothing wihout him there, especially when it came to christmas crackers, he was the best for those, he'd proudly flaunt his hat (no matter the colour, he looked wonderful in purple) and read of the jokes with his terribly shaky hands. And he'd take forever to eat but that was okay, when we were all done and no one was waiting for anyone to finish dinner it was weird, we were so used to sitting and waiting for him to be done. Anyways, I miss him. Terribly.)
- Fleas are not to be messed with.
- Broken hearts mend, not easily but they do, especially if you get bitter and angry enough.
- One will miss their roomate very much when she leaves for the summer.
- It is possible to live in a really small apartment with two people, sharing the same room and not hate each other by the end.
- Classics might be something I really enjoy but I'm not good at them. And that's okay.
- Fredericton is a nice city. I like it. I also like Saint John. And miss it quite a bit. But I miss Fredericton too.
- Getting a roomate one doesn't know too well is a bad idea. Even if you aren't really roomates and only apartment-mates. It won't work out. Living alone appeals to one alot after a situation like that.
- Can't make up your mind about a university? Just do so badly that they refuse to take you anyways. Worked for me.
- Dating is way too over-rated. I'm accepting my call to the single-life. Perhaps even nun.
- People who promise to see you and people you promise to see when you move will not get to see you, cause school will be mean and time your exams so that people go home before you get home and come back after you go back. (I will see you eventually Joanna!)
- US hospitals are really nice, probably cause people have to pay so much bloody money to use their services. Thank goodness for travel insurance.
- My cat gets carsick and its bothersome but I love her.
- Major illness and pysical problems are not to be messed with either. But they can be dealth with and conquered. Thank goodness.
- I can only thing back a ways into the year so I'm sure I'm forgetting things from January through April last year.

But oh well. Bye 2006, hello 2007. Hope you are full of good stuff, and I can probably deal with a few disappointments and upsets, but not too many. Thanks everyone for this year, thanks for all you've done for me and for all you haven't done cause you knew I could do it myself. Hope this next year is very blessed and happy for you!